Sometimes we don't believe in the transforming power of God's grace, because we have the wrong idea of how it works. We think it should work like magic. But God's work in our soul takes a lifetime. St. Paul's encounter with Christ on the road to Damascus was a real, powerful, and transforming experience, but it was only the beginning of a long spiritual journey. Only after many years in which he allowed God's grace to spread into every corner of his mind and heart did he receive his missionary call. And that's how God's grace usually works. The transforming power of God's grace is real, but it takes time. God's grace is like the seed in the soil of our hearts. It grows up gradually if we nurture it with prayer, with the Sacraments, and with love in following Christ. We need to be patient and persevering in these efforts, like a farmer tending his fields.
If we haven't experienced the transforming power of the gospel in our own lives, maybe that's because we haven't wanted to. God is always working in, through and around us, but He leaves us free to pay attention or not. Even in his dramatic encounter with St. Paul on the road to Damascus, Jesus didn't actually give any order or make any demand or express any wish concerning Paul until he had decided to listen. God made His presence known, but Paul was free to respond on his own. By the grace of God, Paul had the courage to ask the Lord, "What do you want me to do, Lord?" But until that moment, God must wait!
Do we want to receive and experience the transforming power of God's grace in our lives? Do we want the joy and the happiness of living for God and from God? Do we want to have a share with the saints in heaven? We cannot have both - this world and the next! We must choose one over the other! We must give preference to one over the other! As for me, I pray everyday at Mass that I prefer Christ over His creatures!